Being a loving person doesn't mean being a sucker

QJ Yu @ Conscious Rewiring

Can you be a loving, caring badass?

That is - to be an empathetic, compassionate but also highly effective and performative individual?

I used to think that to be loving to self and to others is to be ultimately patient and tolerant of mistakes and shortcomings - eventually to become a sucker - or at least a sucker tolerator.

The trait of empathy and the trait of performance almost goes opposite to each other - one invites tolerance; and the other invites intolerance in order to stimulate greater performance.

Dilemma, right?

On the surface level, it may be.

But my goal is to be a loving, caring badass.

And in my journey of self improvement and self discovery, it often comes to me that the true mastery, is to find the mediation - the harmony of 2 seemingly opposite traits -

• Empathy and Performance

• Pain and Ease

• Structure and Free Flow

• Selfish and Selfless

• Power and Surrender

All of that, in spiritual terms is, bridging the duality.

And bridging the gap in between duality is the true journey of mastery, because -

• It requires us to have travelled both ends, deeply learned, before finding the middle ground. So instead of being stuck in one end of the spectrum, a truly-mastered person is able to be flexible and incorporative.

• It requires deep self awareness and environment awareness, knowing when to apply what state to what condition, and be continuously attentive to subtle changes.

So next time if you feel like you are facing a dilemma, or of impossible opposites, do not instinctively dismiss the possibility of finding a mediation in between - know that your mastery of the two contradictory but highly-valuable traits is being sharpened through this process.

What's your experience in finding mastery between opposites and dilemmas? Share your insights in comments below!